Ugh. That all too dreaded question that comes with the initiation of most conversations.
My immediate reaction is to always say “fine” or “okay” or “good,” when in reality I often feel like saying “How am I? Well. Have you ever had one of those days when you are left unable to look yourself in the mirror for fear that it will ultimately force you into acknowledging the pain that is contained within the emptiness of your eyes? Inevitably causing you to break down with no escape route or safety net in sight? That is how I am. Teetering on the building’s edge with nowhere to go but down and I am left wondering whether I will take the stairs or opt for the more scenic route. It is draining. I am drained. I am exhausted with barely enough energy left to risk taking a single breath or faking yet another empty smile for fear that I might fall endlessly out of existence. Or for fear that I might not.”
Fortunately, that is not how I feel today but wouldn’t it be nice if we all felt safe enough to always be able to express how we truly feel rather than sugarcoating our lives out of fear of judgment or criticism?
Just a simple thought from a simple mind trying to live a simple life.