A letter to my future love…

My love:

I know we have yet to meet, but we will. Of this we can be sure because we are soul mates. We are meant to be. So in case I forget to tell you later…I wanted to say thank you.

Thank you for finding me and making me feel special by taking a chance, while making me laugh with your witty, twisted sense of humor that is sure to match mine. Thank you for never being upset at my girls’ weekends for you know they are my family, and for accepting my running addiction because you know it helps me to keep my sanity…what little I might have left anyway. Thank you for making me feel important by staying and wanting to know more, while showing me that chivalry is not dead as I had once believed it was. Thank you for picking dandelions because you know the color yellow will make me smile at any given moment, but also for sometimes buying a beautiful rose to let me know that I am worth it. Thank you for knowing “The Rose” is the song I love most and playing it while taking my hand to dance, but mostly…

Thank you for never telling me to change my style, my clothes, my hair…thank you for never telling me to change…period. Thank you for being proud to have me by your side, as I am sure I will feel the same for you and for accepting me as me while always being you. Thank you for never making me feel horrible about doing something nice for myself, because you know how I struggle with doing just that. Thank you for never being jealous of the Furball, but instead being grateful for all the times he has saved me. Thank you for fixing things while taking the time to show me how, and for controlling your frustration when I call to ask you again…and again…and yet again. Thank you for never being physical with me…except in bed…always in bed. Thank you for looking into my eyes during a conversation letting me know you are present. Thank you for being present. Thank you always placing your hand on my back when leading me into a room showing me know you have my back, and for gently caressing my damaged soul with your love in an attempt to make up for all the times that I felt none.

Thank you for taking your time with me and for giving your time to me and for asking for more time from me. Thank you for having conversations with me while remembering them…okay most of them…fine only some of them…yet somehow always remembering the important ones, which is all that really matters…right? Thank you for wanting to know my life while understanding when I was not entirely ready to share, and for holding my shaking hands as I was searching for the courage to tell you everything. Thank you for staying when I did. Thank you for never questioning my inability to cry, while letting me know you will be there when I am ready to. Thank you for not making fun of me when I finally do. Thank you for always keeping the bedroom cool at night due to my deeply rooted fear of sleeping uncovered, and for holding me in spite of my pools of sweat just so I can feel safe…even if only for a moment. Thank you for understanding I cannot control my nightmares, but also for never being one. Thank you for never screaming at me causing everything within me to tense in fear, and for giving me space during an argument to process it by myself rather than forcing me to utter a single word to hurt you. Thank you for accepting that this is bound to happen. We will hurt each other time and again, but thank you for being worth it and thank you for never intending to. Thank you for swallowing your pride while letting me win an argument…even when you know I am wrong. Thank you apologizing while accepting mine, and for being able to say you are sorry and for never taking mine for granted.

Thank you for coming up behind me at any given moment to wrap me in the undeniable strength of your love so I never have a chance to forget, and for kissing each scar in an attempt to heal the pain that you know will always remain. Thank you for never being embarrassed of me, by me or for me. Thank you for knowing that my lack of emotion does not mean that I have none and for your ability to make me feel something…anything. Thank you being my safe place to show those feelings while knowing I really have no idea of how to handle them. Thank you for showing me how by not only teasing me when I am feeling sad, but also for holding me while allowing me to just be sad. Thank you for not only making me laugh at the ridiculousness of my anger, but also for taking a step back to allow me to just be angry. Thank you for being strong when I am weak and fearless when I am scared, but also for letting me do the same for you. Thank you for never leaving me, even during the times I said I wanted you to because you knew I was not speaking the truth.

Thank you for challenging me and being challenged by me. Thank you for allowing me to shine when it was my time, but never leaving me out when it was yours. Thank you for always including me and for not only making me a part of your life, but for making me the most important part. Thank you for handing me your heart and for always protecting mine while showing me how to protect myself…even from myself. Thank you for accepting me at my best while truly loving me at my worst, and for making the day we met be the happiest day of my life. Thank you for inviting me to fall so deeply in love while showing me the depth of your love for me…and meaning it. Thank you for being there to catch me when I felt the world collapsing all around me. Thank you for showing me that it was not.

Thank you for understanding that while I do not need you…I do.

Thank you for making my heart smile.

Always,

your love

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