Judgment…

…is in the eye of the beholder.

In reality it is all about perspective. Kind of like love. We all have a moment (or two..or three) in our lives that we believe we have an understanding of what is happening…truth from lies, good from bad, right from wrong…but reality relishes in shedding light on the fact that we all are merely participating in a guessing game.

A guessing game that has led to this undeniable desire…no this need…to maintain control when we have none. So we divert our attention because that is what we do best. We divert it to those who we should be supporting, but cannot because we are unable to grasp that our own lives are drowning in unmet needs while  we continue these vicious circles of celebrating the inevitability of our equally unmet expectations…and so we judge. It passes our time. A lot of time. Ceaselessly. Endlessly.

We judge everything and everyone. We assume we have the right to because we assume we know the facts. We assume we know the situation, any situation…because of course we are God. We know all. So who are we to be judged when we have appointed ourselves as the ultimate one?

We see a large woman and we assume she cannot control her eating and has unhealthy habits in spite of the depression she effortlessly hides. She hides because she believes it is easier to be judged in this way rather than admit reality. We see a homeless person and assume he is lazy in spite of his past. A past that he will not discuss because he cannot. We see a stripper or prostitute and assume she has no respect for herself in spite of the respect that was stripped from her by every person she should have been able to trust.

We judge because we are disconnected. Because it alleviates us from responsibility. Because it is not us. Well it is us. We have lived our lives being judged…even by those that had no idea they were doing just that. We have participated in countless discussions involving judgments of others who are just like us and kept our mouths shut when we should have said something. We refrain from adding to those conversations and yet we still add to it by not saying anything. We all add to it by not stopping what should be stopped.

So here we are celebrating yet another Thanksgiving day and I suppose my point is this. We, as a society, have normalized the act of judging our fellow beings. So much so that we feel as though we are being amazing people by taking one day each year to forego spewing our cruel words or ideas into a forced acceptance by those surrounding us. When in reality, these cruel words or ideas should never have been in existence in the first place.

So my hope is this. I hope that everyone will take the happiness they feel today and spread it to those who have none. I hope that we all can take our peace we foolishly take for granted and share it with those who are taken for granted. I hope that the love we feel from our friends and family will be given to those without friends and family. I hope that those of us who have never felt alone will take a moment to let someone know they are not alone…even though they are.

Then and only then can I be as thankful as I hope to one day be on a day that is meant for thankfulness. Because in giving we really are receiving…so why not give just a little more of ourselves to those that need a little more to find themselves?

Happy Thanksgiving.

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